IssuesSummer 2022How to Write a Will With Joy!

How to Write a Will With Joy!

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Everyone has a story of loss. Strokes, mental illness, heart attack. The story I want you to change is not having a will. It’s time to act.

How on earth can you write a will with joy?

  1. Know that writing a will document and signing it will not kill you — A l997 University of Guelph study discovered 20 per cent of farmers didn’t have a will, thinking “if I make, I will then I will die!” Pretty strange logic. Writing a will didn’t kill my mother at 65, an asthma infection did. During her palliative time her new drafted will wasn’t signed, as she was comatose. Even the best laid out transition plans are derailed when new documents aren’t signed.
  2. Have you signed your current will? — Do it. Remember to finish off the work you started with your lawyer. It will likely take three visits to the law office. You can now visit your lawyer over Zoom, and can sign the documents digitally, so you don’t have to physically leave your remote farm to get this done. One visit to draft the will or update your current one. The next visit to talk about the new draft to make sure it meets your intentions. Finally, a third visit to sign the will and take your copy home to read to your family. Ask on the first call to make your appointment what the range of costs is going to be. The more complex your will is, the more you’ll invest.
  3. Seriously Elaine, must I to read it to my family? — This is where the joy part comes in. Most folks I know don’t relish surprises. When you drafted your will you had to choose a trustworthy executor. Hopefully this is an adult successor or adults in your family circle who are good with details, timely and accountable for their actions. One of our executors is a lawyer family member plus our successor. In order to get ready to execute a will with timely skill, it helps to know what is in it. When people know the plans you have upon your death, you get to explain your intent as to why you laid out your wishes the way the will states. This is a healthy conversation where you get to talk about your “why” in how you did your will.
  4. Eliminate confusion of terms — I recently coached a farm family who found an older will years after the father’s passing. This created huge conflict when the family realized that dad had changed his original intentions. Are folks allowed to change their plans? Yes. The problem is when dead people’s wishes keep fueling the fire of conflict for those beneficiaries who have made financial decisions based on the current reality of the legal will presented. I’m not a lawyer, and this column isn’t to be taken as legal advice. I leave that good work to my Canadian Association of Farm Advisors (CAFA) colleagues who are excellent agricultural lawyers. Find them online here. It’s a good idea to destroy old copies of old will documents. I advocate the giving gifts with a warm hand, not a cold one.
  1. Educate your executors — Use an executor checklist to get ready to be a great executor, get the checklist at [email protected]. All lawyers say “no way” to handwritten wills, so take your handwritten wishes to a legal office and have a legal will written up. DIY is great for house renovations but not for your multi-million-dollar estate. Yikes! I met this rancher whose wife has gone to get her will done properly, but he is still dragging his feet!
  2. Watch “Finding Fairness in Farm Transition” — I suspect you feel that writing a will with joy is impossible because you and your spouse are fighting about what to give your children. Firstly, you can draft your own will if your spouse refuses to do theirs. The deceased who dies intestate (without a will) is the one going to hoop the other spouse with chaos. My definition of fairness is “helping everyone be successful”. Ask each of your beneficiaries to tell you what they expect from your estate, and ask “What does fairness look like to you?” Your assets are yours. You get to choose regardless of the expectations of adult beneficiaries.
  3. Find joy in giving gifts with a warm hand and tell the story behind the gift — In “The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning” Margareta Magnusson says at age 65 we should downsize our stuff as a gift to our children, so they don’t have to wade through it when we pass on. When you write your will, you can add a letter or list of possessions you wish to go to certain folks. It would be helpful for the executor to have a copy of this list. I asked my family which pieces of art they would like and was surprised that only one piece was valued by my sister, and one by my children. Your treasured stuff might be junk to others.
  4. Joy comes when you know you have enough money — Outdated wills were made decades ago when interest rates were different and land values much lower. A good financial plan to carry you into your nineties is wise. If you are going to run out of money, check with your beneficiaries and children to see who is going to help you continue to pay bills as you age and require more care. “That was then, and this is now” may be the response to promises you made when finances were flush, and bread was under a dollar! Have a transparent conversation about your financial concerns with your family, and your financial planner. Remember to support charities if you have the means to do so.

If you are like the 53 per cent in my seminar who did not have a will, I challenge you to get it done by Aug. 1.

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